A few years ago, a single girlfriend of mine invited me to her birthday night out. Great! The invitation details were followed by the line "you can buy me a gift from my wish list" with a link to a long list of things she wanted.
At first I was a little surprised. To be honest, I thought maybe it was a little presumptuous, impolite even. But when I sat back and analysed the situation, I realised, I was the one with the problem.
I began to think how many bachelorette parties, engagement parties, weddings and baby showers she had been to, where there is an automatic assumption to bring a gift or spend money . How much time and effort had she taken to celebrate others, but yet there has never been a moment to celebrate her. Until she decided to create that moment, and why shouldn't she.
I then remember feeling like I had seen this play out before...
Yep, the classic Sex in the City episode "A Woman's Right To Shoes" where Carrie was asked to leave her expensive Manolo Blahnik shoes at the door of a friends house and they were subsequently stolen by another guest.
Her friend thought it was laughable that she should be so bothered by her missing shoes - after all, there are more important things in life like taking care of children. But Carrie stuck to her guns and even had a fake wedding for the shoes her friend ended up replacing! We love the pettiness!
This was a powerful epsiode, aired 20 years ago. How much has changed today? After that birthday invite, I made a vow to show up and celebrate my friends and never let a gift list catch me in my feelings again.