Case of the ex: Why do exes and reunite after years of being apart?

This week Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck surprised us all when they decided to get married. This caught most of the world off guard. Let’s be real, with all the gossip columns and social media, we can be guilty of assuming we know every aspect of someone’s life and their relationships, which is why it can seem so left when a decision is made that doesn’t quite fit the public narrative.

But this topic had me thinking - Why do exes reunite? 


As you grow older, in most cases you have a pretty good understanding of who you are and what you want. Age can also bring caution - fear of  the unknown or getting to know someone new can be daunting, which is why the opportunity to reunite with a past love can seem appealing. You understand that person’s habits, how they make you feel and you may even know their family and friends. All of this can bring a certain comfort to reigniting the flame.

A new lover brings alot of uncertainty. People have pasts - with your ex, you’ll have a pretty good picture of the baggage he/she brings.

Unfinished business

Break-ups can be messey. Let’s be honest, there is always one person that wanted the relationship more and would have been happy to continue and try. Regardless of the circumstances, if you still have a “thing” for each other, then a reunion may be on the cards somewhere down the line.

People separate in different ways. For some it’s a long drawn out process. For others it’s abrupt with no closure.  If your relationship ended suddenly with no emotional conclusion, a reunion may feel logical should your paths cross later in life.

Bad timing

Ever heard the term, right person at the wrong time? Yep! Sometimes this is just straight facts! Maybe she wasn’t ready for marriage, perhaps he didn’t want children, her focus may have been on her career or he wasn’t ready to settle down and commit. The list of bad timing excuses is endless (and valid in most cases). 

Timing may not be an issue later in life if you’ve both gone on to fulfil your goals separately. Those goals may be marriage, children, travelling or career. Many couples find that the pressures they faced earlier in their relationship are no longer an issue later in life.

You still love each other

People separate but that doesn't mean the love dies. There can be some many reasons behind a break-up. Infidelity as well as the many reasons listed above can cause a couple to depart. But if the love is still there, time and some water under the bridge can heal some old wounds.

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